A Sexist by Any Other Name
by Error Code 401
Summary: It's a beautiful day in the land of Death. The tea is wonderful. That is, until a girl stomps over to Obi-Wan and calls him a sexist.


**A/N: It has come to my attention that many people consider this blunt and a bashing of an 'iconic character'.**

 **I admit that this could be better written, but as to the 'bashing of an iconic character' . . . I was merely venting my opinion via the fanfiction route.** **You may not agree with my opinion, but keep in mind the first person usage of the word _my_.**

 **In other words? Don't like: don't read.**

* * *

All in all, once you considered the pros and cons, Death was not as bad as many feared.

Sure, Obi-Wan was a tad bit . . . disembodied, but hey! He got tea out of the whole ordeal!

After all, he rather deserved it after everything he had to go through in his Life . . . right?

Carefully gripping the handle of the mug, he took a sip and sighed, his entire body relaxed as sat in a near-perfect replica of the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

Yes, Death was good.

That is, until a teenage girl with dark hair and equally dark eyes stomped over to him and slapped the mug out of his hand. It fell to the ground with a shatter, and tea sloshed over Obi-Wan's nonexistent boots.

"What - why'd you do that?" Obi-Wan demanded sternly.

The girl glowered at him, nostrils flared.

"That," she snarled, "was for every female to ever exist."

What?

"I'm afraid that I don't understand," Obi-Wan said slowly.

The girl rolled her eyes. "Stang, you're as oblivious Dead as you were Alive."

"What do you mean I'm oblivious? And you still haven't explained why you knocked my tea onto the ground."

"What I _mean_ is that you're a sexist."

"I am not a sexist!" Obi-Wan said exasperatedly.

"Actually, you are."

"I -"

"See, Benny Boy, it's like this: you don't respect females. You think that we, due to our opposite gender, are weak and in need of protection."

"That's not true! There are many females I respect!"

"Could Leia have been the Chosen One?"

The question came so unexpected that Obi-Wan blinked in confusion. "What? No - Anakin was."

"Could she or Luke have been had Skywalker not recanted from his nonstop stupidity long enough to kill Kenobi?"

"Well, uh, Luke could have, I suppose; but not -"

"And why not?"

"Luke received training -"

"So could have Leia!"

"But -"

"And you want to know the reason you think that Leia couldn't have been the Chosen One? The reason why you never even entertained the _notion_ of training her? Because you! Are! A sexist!" The girl took a deep breath and added, "Oh, and by the way, Leia ends up being trained to be a Jedi anyways, marries Solo, and has three kids named Jaina, Jacen, and Anakin. Jacen grows up to be a Sith, so Jaina goes to receive training from Fett. Then she kills Jacen to save . . . everyone, but that was after he killed Ailyn Vel, Mara Jade Skywalker, Tebut, and a whole bunch of others that I'm not going to mention, as it would take forever. Oh, yeah, Anakin died, too in this war between a bunch of Kaminoan act-a-likes. Plus, before he goes Dark Side, Jacen marries the Queen Mother of the Hapes Cluster and has a kid named Alanna. Jaina got involved with Jagged Fel, the leader of the New Empire -"

"What?!"

"Hey, be quiet for a sec, would you? I'm not done. Luke marries Mara Jade. The end. Okay, bye!"

And with that clear, orderly speech over the chains of events since his death, the girl disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Well. That was . . . strange.

* * *

Later . . .

"Padme, am I a sexist?"

"Um . . . well, no offense, Obi-Wan . . . I love you and all, friend . . . but you kind of are."

 **A/N: I really have no idea why I wrote this.**

 **But to be honest . . . Kenobi was kind of sexist when it came to the whole Chosen One thing. In his book, he is noted to be thinking when Yoda said, "No. There is another." that Leia couldn't be the Chosen One, and he was** ** _positive_** **that it had to be Luke.**

 **It annoyed me, even though I don't exactly like the whole Jedi vs. Sith stuff.**

 **But yeah! ;)**

 **Flame away, Kenobi-lovers! XD**


End file.
